Thursday, April 22, 2010

"Honey! One of these socks is too tight."

To all husbands out there (I know, I know. I have very few male blog readers that I know of, but here goes):

IF you were the last one to use the carpet cleaner, and
IF your wife decides, in a moment of pure insanity, that she needs to clean the carpet, and
IF she finds that the carpet cleaner was left with unused water in it, and
IF the machine is no longer operable...

DO NOT, under any circumstances, attempt the following:

* Tell her "Well, it was working the last time I used it." That really doesn't help, because it is not working NOW and she has not touched it in months or maybe even years.

* Make the statement "You probably forgot how to work it." Really? I can feel a slight chill in the air.

* "Accidentally drop the heavy metal handle on her head while she is sitting on the floor dismantling the machine to ascertain the problem. It is doubtful that this maneuver will render her unconscious. Even if you succeed, upon regaining consciousness, she will likely still remember that were the one who broke the machine and will most definitely remember that you bludgeoned her with a piece of the cursed beast.

* Once she has fixed the problem, reassembled the mess and proclaimed victory over yet another household appliance, look at her from the couch where you are watching football reruns, roll your eyes and sarcastically remark "You're amazing."

Despite any or all of these actions, if you have a wife who is knitting socks for you, she will most likely continue to do so -- probably not because she cares if you're feet are warm, but because now she needs an outlet to work out her frustrations. So...

I'm quitting my chores for the evening and going back to work on my husband's second sock. If he observes that this one seems a little tight, well then...let's just say I have sharp pointy sticks and I can do more than just knit with them. :)

No comments: